They are hyper-involved in the education of their children, anxious to satisfy their smallest demands and invested 100% in their success. These parent “helicopters” are harmful to their children. Our tips to succeed in getting away
All parents want to do their best to improve their children’s chances of success. Unfortunately, this sometimes leads to behavior that causes these parents to become “helicopter parents” because they are constantly hovering over their children. Helicopter parents are known to be constantly concerned for the safety and well-being of their children, they respond excessively to all their needs and they limit their freedom to better protect them. Although love is what motivates this kind of behavior in general, it can make children less active, they may have difficulty in making decisions and manage conflicts on their own, and they may suffer from anxiety or of depression. If you want to stop being a helicopter parent;
Avoid worrying about your children all the time — While it’s understandable that caring parents worry about their children a lot because of fear, negative events and stories they may have encountered, what parents do not realize is that they are doing more damage, than good! The first thing to do to stop being a helicopter parent is to relax and accept the fact that you will never be able to protect your children from all the dangers of the world. Not all dangerous incidents are extreme, and sometimes, it is okay to make mistakes. One only learns from them!
This is easier said than done! Firstly, you can start by simply showing and assuring your children that you care about them. Try to avoid micromanaging them, and let them independently take control of situations. Constant hovering will just cause them anxiety.
Let your children do things on their own — Helicopter parents interfere in the lives of their children and control them, even if they are perfectly capable themselves. Constant spoon feeding increases their dependency , depriving them of becoming independent beings. Thus, allow them space to take care of themselves in the form of chores, and responsibilities.
If you have trouble doing this, start with small things, such as letting your children dress themselves or prepare their own lunch. Once you feel comfortable knowing they can complete certain daily routine tasks, overtime you will feel a lot more confident letting them handle more complicated situations.
Give your children the opportunity to take small risks — Children who are too often confined to “safe spaces” could miss many opportunities for development, learning and growth. Allowing children to explore the world, and letting them step outside their comfort zone is very important. Although it can be nerve wrecking, sometimes the best way to learn is to fall and make mistakes. This means you have to let them try to skateboard, even if there is a risk of them scratching their knees.
Let your child solve their own problems — As children get older, they should be given more responsibility, and taught problem solving. They may face problems socially, with their family, friends and peers; in terms of time management, homework and deadlines. A child must learn to tackle these them self.
Watch them from afar — There is no harm in wanting to monitor your children to make sure they are safe. After all, there are real dangers in the world of which you must protect them. Fortunately, you can monitor them without becoming a helicopter parent. Just take a few steps back and give them a little more space. Making them believe you are not watching them gives them a sense of accomplishment that they achieved something all by themselves.
Do not project your anxieties on them — Try not to project your own concerns on your toddler. Get rid of negative thoughts about your children. If you feel anxiety growing, do not transfer that onto your child as it creates a sense of insecurity . Hence, do not look for evidence to confirm your worst fears about your child are true, and online is the worst place to make you believe so. It’s normal to be afraid for them. We love them so much that we want to protect them from everything. So relax and take a deep breath! Half of your fears are in your head.
Start letting your kids make small decisions — When you encourage your children to make decisions for themselves, it creates a sense of confidence. Allow changes by letting your children be in control of small decisions. This could be as simple as letting them decide what they want to wear to school (Play Group), instead of choosing it for them. The more they make the habit of making small decisions for themselves, the better they will be prepared to make larger decisions later on in life.
Stop Protecting your kids from the consequences — Helicopter parents often want to protect their children from harm or low self-esteem, which often means they cause early intervention to prevent them from failing and facing consequences of their own actions. This kind of education prevents children from learning from their own mistakes. Hence, be open parents where your child feels comfortable enough to talk to you, discuss issues, and solve problems.
Do not be intrusive — Some parents become intrusive when they interfere too much in the daily life of their offspring. But a child needs to feel that he is the master of his own life and that he can develop his own thoughts and secrets. Children must be able to build their secret garden without the adult entering it. Respect for psychic intimacy is essential to enable the child to develop his autonomy and skills. It’s also the best way to help protect yourself from others.
Last Thought — The overall key to not being a helicopter parent is to learn to take a back seat when needed, give your children learning space and allow them to become their own problem solvers. This will go a long way towards helping your child succeed in life.